Terms & Conditions (aka The Serious Part)

Returns & Exchanges

Changed your mind? Had a sudden style revelation at 3AM? No worries. Just drop us an email at milla@upthewazoo.store and we’ll send you the return instructions. Remember to sprinkle in your name, order number, and contact details, so we know who to send the refund fairy to.

You’ve got a fabulous 14-day window to return or exchange part of your order, or the whole thing, if you’re feeling dramatic. Just keep everything in its original packaging and in good, untampered-with condition. Return shipping fees will be deducted from your refund (we love you, but teleportation hasn’t been invented yet).

If you don’t pick up your parcel and it moonwalks back to us, we’ll happily resend it: but the posting and packaging fees will apply again.

Cancellations, Liability & Complaints

Panicked after pressing order? Breathe. You can cancel your order by emailing us at milla@upthewazoo.store. If your goodies are already packed and ready for their runway, we’ll deduct packaging and shipping fees from your refund.

Legally speaking, we’re on the hook for any product defects. Got an issue? Email milla@upthewazoo.store and we’ll sort it out. If you’re still not happy, you can call in the big wigs at the Consumer Disputes Board.

You can always reach out for return questions at milla@upthewazoo.store. We’re not psychic, so tell us what’s up.

Damages & Issues

Please check your order the moment it arrives. If something looks off: defective, damaged, or just plain wrong, snap a photo of the box before opening it and of the items too. Then let us know ASAP so we can fix it.

Exceptions / Non-Returnables 🚫

Some things just can’t come back, no matter how much we love drama:

• Earrings (hygiene is hot, infections are not)

• Sale items

• Custom-made treasures

• Gift cards (sadly, you can’t un-scratch a code)

Exchanges

Want a swap? Easiest way:

1. Email us at milla@upthewazoo.store

2. Wait for our sparkling confirmation

3. Return the item you’ve got

4. Place a brand new order for your shiny replacement

Return shipping expenses are not covered by us (again, teleportation R&D is ongoing).

Refunds 💸

Once your return lands in our HQ and passes inspection, we’ll email you to confirm. If approved, the refund will head back to your original payment method within 14 business days (minus posting/packaging fees).

Banks and credit card companies sometimes move slower than a dial-up modem, so give it a little time. If it’s been more than 15 business days since approval and nothing’s shown up, holler at us via milla@upthewazoo.store.

In short: we’re here to keep things fair, fun, and fabulous — just don’t ghost your parcels or send us back earrings.